The Toothless Grin

                                 

  The toothless grin 

 

 

Today morning started with me jumping from bed on sudden realization that I had turned the alarm off long time ago. I was late and had to rush to send my three year old to her play school. I was flustered and upset with the backache I had. I was running around confused and agitated with my elder one who was not willing to get up from bed. Amidst this confusion, I moved to check my 2 month old if he is wet and suddenly I was welcomed with a big toothless grin. Yes, that’s how a small baby looks at her mother in the morning when it sees her in the light after the long night. My little baby who has just learned to smile, loves to greet everyone with a smile. I stopped there in that moment; his big smile did a wonder and brought a beautiful mother pride in me. The purity of life that I could see in his innocent smile was a blessing in the morning. He unaware of the difficult morning his parents were having was thrilled to see people around. After staying and sleeping in the dark for 9 hours, he was elated with the light around.

We tend to miss out lot of beautiful things around in our struggle to stick to our busy schedules. But a small thing like a smile of a small baby can change everything. My son has been smiling for last few days and though I had been enjoying this, today was the first time when I realized the importance of his smile. His lips wide stretched, open mouth with no teeth inside and his two pure eyes staring at me were the most beautiful sight I had looked in months.

I moved back to my morning routine carrying his precious smile with me. I was a proud mother in those moments as if my son is the only baby in the world possessing this beautiful treasure of smile. I feel this is what being parent is about, finding the meaning of life in smile of a child or going to bed with the unending talks of a three year old. There are times when I get tired with the never ending demands of two kids like elder one yelling for her urgent need to go to toilet when I am in the middle of feeding the little one. These are the times when a mother seems to lose it all, when she says the words like ‘damn’ or ‘my life is over’.  Living with the chaos and mess all the time, the only things that keep her sane are the smiles of her children, the excited eyes of a child when you gift her new toy etc.

What scares me is the fact that they are growing up fast and will soon come a day when there will be no hug from my daughter on coming home from school or my younger one will be too big for my lap and arms. When nobody will make a mess with food and nobody will be drawing on walls, nobody will be crying at three in the morning. Looks like a big relief but I feel the relief will be temporary but the loss of not seeing a sorry smile after creating a big mess will be permanent. What kills me most is that one day their world will not revolve around their parents and they won’t need me for every need of them.

Well.... fear is for some other day, today I am enjoying the beauty of the first smiles of my baby and the magic it is having on me. Waiting for him to wake up and cherish my day with some more toothless smiles. Love being mommy…..